I love it.
I always feel better when I feel pretty. Which is really superficial, but I think a lot of people agree with that.
Today is a pretty day. It stopped raining. It's my brothers 29th birthday! I'm no longer ill. I've been reading and writing a lotttt lately, although it's not on here.. I've almost gotten my schedule perfect! And boy is it a lot of work.. I don't know how I'm going to afford this elaborate education.. BUT, where there's a will there's a way? And do I have a strong will power, yeah buddyyy.
I'm interested in so many aspects of psychology. It's a conceited sort of science, if you really think about it. Research is "me-search" hah. But I love it so much. I really hope to be famous for discovering something phenomenal in the field. The mad scientist am I! There isn't a thing that I don't love about it. except the time I use studying it takes away from my time for my little one. But it's all for a good cause.
Anyways... Positivity. I think I already wrote about this? Is that a good sign? I'm so manic.
Positivity is great! It should be more common. Not just in the positive work sense, but just smiling. Smile. It will go far. Kill people with kindness!
But okay. I have a lot to do today.
And I've been neglecting my blog lately, because life is hectic as always. That's life. I'll write more. But it's not like anybody reads this stuff? It's okay. It's okay. I'm arguing with myself on the internet. Wow.
PEACE!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Abandonment
How can people recover from this?
When you are in love, completely and whole heartedly and the one you love leaves, forever. What is a person to do with that? How can a person live without their other half.
The soul shattering pain.
Louis Wain became schizophrenic due to his abandonment. His wife tragically died of cancer. He was an artist and you can tell in his drawings that there was something wrong with his "life like" cats that he drew.
He would draw them while his wife was dying of cancer to cheer her up, and he kept drawing them after she was gone.
I can understand the pain along with the insanity. It could happen to many people given the circumstances. Trauma can be so crippling that you just lose touch with all of reality. You start to live in a fantasy world made up of memories you once shared. You think you see the one you love everywhere you look. Haunting dreams consume you, take over your every thought. You find yourself wearing their old clothes, just to feel closer. You blame yourself for everything that happened. You hate them for leaving you, yet you are still longing for them. The eloquent agony will drag you under like a thick fog in a cow field. It's all you can think of. No matter what you try, no one measures up to them. Nothing is distracting enough. You try, and try again to just forget it but it's always there. It's a permanent hurt. The wounds may heal, but there is scar tissue. Big, ugly and awful scars.
i can't get over you
When you are in love, completely and whole heartedly and the one you love leaves, forever. What is a person to do with that? How can a person live without their other half.
The soul shattering pain.
Louis Wain became schizophrenic due to his abandonment. His wife tragically died of cancer. He was an artist and you can tell in his drawings that there was something wrong with his "life like" cats that he drew.
He would draw them while his wife was dying of cancer to cheer her up, and he kept drawing them after she was gone.
I can understand the pain along with the insanity. It could happen to many people given the circumstances. Trauma can be so crippling that you just lose touch with all of reality. You start to live in a fantasy world made up of memories you once shared. You think you see the one you love everywhere you look. Haunting dreams consume you, take over your every thought. You find yourself wearing their old clothes, just to feel closer. You blame yourself for everything that happened. You hate them for leaving you, yet you are still longing for them. The eloquent agony will drag you under like a thick fog in a cow field. It's all you can think of. No matter what you try, no one measures up to them. Nothing is distracting enough. You try, and try again to just forget it but it's always there. It's a permanent hurt. The wounds may heal, but there is scar tissue. Big, ugly and awful scars.
i can't get over you
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